by on Jun 3, 2014

the meatmen, savage sagas, self destructo records, tesco vee, album lo-pie, 2014, lopie, lo pie, lo pie musicThe Meatmen // Savage Sagas
Self Destructo Records
2.75/5 Pies

Recommended Track: Anna Moose

DISCLAIMER: DO NOT let your lil ol’ grannie get her hands on the newest release from Michigan based punk pioneers The Meatmen. I mean, unless you want to play a prank on her, make her freeze up, and possibly piss her Depends diapers more than she has ever pissed them before! This is no easy listening. This is no Beethoven, Chopin, Mozart, Neil Diamond, etc. This is the furthest thing from prim and proper, politically correct expression, or any kind of tasteful jargon. The Meatmen’s first album of original material in 19 years and WOW! They have got a plethora of nasty lyrics to throw in your sweet, delicate baby face. It’s more than a little shocking that lead singer and punk icon Tesco Vee used to be an elementary school teacher before The Meatmen (and other projects). His class was probably a blast. You want to teach me some creative writing on the nastiest subjects on the planet? I am so down. Screw the same old book reports they’ve been teaching our children to write for generations. We need a Meatmen revolution.

Packed with the heavy punk hitters and some slower honky-tonkin’ rockabilly tunes, Savage Sagas covers all bases and makes you feel dirtier than a stranger rubbing their dirty arm pits in your face followed by a gallon of sour milk poured on your head. Maybe that is an understatement? I think the goal of this new album from The Meatmen has been accomplished. I am shocked, grossed out, in awe but at the same time ready to kick around a lil pit with some beer in hand. Ya know what I mean?

I’m a sucker for albums with conversational track intros and Savage Sagas is nowhere shy of that psychobabble. “Anna Moose” chimes along with with something about Anna Moose being a big fat epileptic Moose. “The Ballad of Stinky Penis” is the story of exactly the title but imagine it as a western film with the repulsive lyrics, “hot stank breeze from off his junk…” Another gem not to be overlooked: “Billy’s Birthday Surprise”, which is an entire 1 minute and 30 second skit of little Billy receiving a John Brannon (Negative Approach) talking doll. Those are just 3 of 20 tracks dripping with purely crass and offensive beef that makes The Meatmen, THE MOTHER FUCKING MEATMEN! Now go have a listen. Maybe bring a barf bag (for getting grossed out), your inhaler (from laughing so hard) and make sure your grannie can’t hear squat! No filters allowed.

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