A few weeks back, Spin Magazine wrote up “Haxel Princess,” a new track off Cherry Glazerr’s forthcoming album of the same name, and deemed the band’s sound “crunchy punk-metal” much to the amusement of anyone who’s actually ever listened to Cherry Glazerr. Cuz the Glazerr are a lot of things, but they’re not, ya know, metal. Right? Am I right, guys?
Or wait. Real talk: I don’t know much about metal, not really, and I’d reckon many of the same people who thought it appropriate to disparage Spin’s descriptor don’t really know much about metal, either. Thus I decided to put the matter to bed by asking the most metal person I know, Joey Linahon, of L.A.-based “melodic metal band” Sirion, whether he thought “Haxel Princess” could qualify as metal. His response:
“I think the metal aspect would be a kick back to heavy metal. That is–old Sabbath, stoner style metal. It’s got that classic reverb heavy distortion, a real groovy progression. And, if there is some metal, it’s there. It could be compared to modern stoner metal or sludge metal, but those usually host harsh vocals.”
And there you have it: the final answer on whether or not Cherry Glazerr can be called a metal band is…maybe? Keep in mind that any and all musical trends can be somewhat connected, especially in rock and roll because its history is so short. So, how far is it from Black Sabbath to Cherry Glazerr? Just up the road, of course! Anyways, let’s just say we’ve all learned a lesson about how goofy genre classification can be and, since it’s the last days of the year and we’re all making shit up anyhow, I’M going to go ahead and call “Haxel Princess” twee-metal because a) the words sound kind of nice together and b) it makes no fucking sense but it makes about as much sense as “crunchy punk-metal” in terms of Cherry Glazerr. And that was the year 2013 in music journalism, thankee and good-night.
Oh wait, music, right. Yeah, so, even though I found Papa Cremp, Cherry Glazerr’s Burger Records cassette debut, to be overly childish and self-conscious (albeit with some interesting parts), “Haxel Princess” shows a welcome forthrightness and fullness of sound that complements the weird chord changes, ethereal vocals and knife-twisty lyrics we’ve come to expect from Clementine Creevy and Co. Haxel Princess comes out on Burger on January 14th, but you can and should pre-order that shit cuz you’re going to need to pay your rent 25 years from now. Trust me on this one.