As an experienced intuitive coach, I tell my clients that when you speak from the heart you will not only learn how to be yourself, but also learn to love yourself even more. There is a growing fear that if we act according to how we feel, we won’t act appropriately. Self-help books, lectures and common advice tell us that in order to act properly we must act in a specific manner: in other words, perhaps don’t be yourself!
It is important to acknowledge this advice, as one would any opinion or information, but it is also important to remember that the advice of others is not to be put above that of our own understanding and intuition. Remember that in higher spirit we are aware of the correct way to act. Yes, we can learn, and adjust how we behave as we learn, but not so far as to completely change who we are. We learn new techniques, but we do not need to overwrite our entire program. This is a big part of what intuitive coaching teaches.
We have come into bodies at this time, having chosen specific life situations and genetics that aid us in our growth. If we act as if we are someone else, we miss the blessing of the lessons that we’ve signed up for. We forget who we are, and therefore our entire life program is derailed. In other words, if we fail to speak from the heart and say things we don’t mean, or act in ways that are other than the way we feel, we are denying our soul the opportunity to express itself and life the life that it desires. You must learn how to be yourself.
A misplaced belief that you are here to please others can make it impossible for you to be yourself and to speak from your own personal truth. You may believe that you are here to in some way merge with your fellow human beings. Or you may believe that it’s your responsibility to communicate without causing strife or stress.
While it is true that this is an optimal state for communication, it is also true that you want to develop relationships with others and that this is important in your growth as humans and as beings on the planet. In order to achieve effective relationships, you must learn how to be yourself.
If you consider all of us: If we are acting as we think we “should”, we are not transmitting the appropriate energy to the world – our own energy – and we are not effectively communicating who we are and what we have to offer. It’s better to communicate from the soul, from the gut or heart, than to communicate what the mind thinks is appropriate.
I’m not recommending that you just let any comment fly by, or to be unnecessarily cruel. I’m not abdicating violent or abusive behavior of any kind because you feel like it. However, you may find yourself inadvertently saying things that turn out to be negative in nature. This behavior is not devilish, and in order to grow you must allow yourself to be yourself, to act as you do, and then to learn from your mistakes.
It’s possible to be an observer and witness yourself as you speak while not ridiculing or hampering your true communication. This entails establishing a certain internal stance whereby you can notice a part of you that is merely watching the world and not responding to it. You may have heard a voice within which you’ve called “conscience.” This voice is often the voice of higher reason, telling you the truth about situations and how to respond to them.
Not listening to this voice often results in conflict and altercations, as you’ve most likely seen in the past. The voice doesn’t not whine or nag, but merely states the obvious from a point of neutrality. It may say something like, “You’re about to run into a boulder,” or “You’re screaming at that woman and it’s not going to get you what you want.” The voice is not saying, “You idiot. Don’t you realize that this behavior is never going to get you what you want? What’s wrong with you? You’re out of control again.”
This neutral Witness is different from the nagging voice constantly demanding that you behave in a certain manner. The voice that I’m speaking of is different from the voices that you hear that sound like other people you know, such as your mother telling you to clean your room. The Witness or Observer has a subtle voice that comes across with a certain knowing.
Pay attention to all of the voices so that you can tell the differences between them. There is a characteristic voice in your head that is responding out of personality. It is demanding that you do things or do them in a certain way. It notifies you if you’re acting “good” or “bad.” This voice is judgmental and not in line with the higher consciousness. Any voice that is judgmental and/or critical is not a voice coming from your Higher Self or Witness.
So, how do you learn how to be yourself? How do you speak from your heart? You just speak. You don’t think about it. You don’t plan it. You don’t try to speak from the heart, and you don’t fret if you are not. In order to speak from your heart you must trust yourself to just BE who you are. Act naturally, and not as others suggest you should, although there are certain social mores to which you just conform of course.
Act naturally, and within social conventions, but that apart you must allow yourself the courage to just stand up and act – to act with the knowing that you came into this world with. If you do this, you will find that the world responds according to your energy, and not according to some energy that you’re projecting and hoping to attain a result from. You will be speaking from a place of higher knowing, and this is not a place that is up for editing.
The heart knows no bound when it comes to communicating. You might find yourself saying things that don’t seem to make sense, or don’t come out as you’d ordinarily say them. Then you’ll be delighted, though maybe confused, when you see how well others respond to these comments. You will see how effective communication comes from a place where there are no limitations to sound, and the quality is limitless. Then you will notice that you will effortlessly change how you say things, as well.
Certain behaviors will miraculously disappear as your Higher Self minimizes them. You will notice that you are not as angry, hurt or self-conscious, because you are not feeling unheard. People will be listening. And even if they don’t, you will be happier having said what you feel.
When you learn how to be yourself and speak from the heart it’s not a matter of having the courage to say things from the heart. It’s more a matter of having the courage to be who you really are, and to allow yourself to speak from that place. Once you’ve done so, you’ll learn to love yourself even more. And, from this place, you’ll also learn to appreciate the ramblings of others who speak from their own souls.